Sunday, February 26, 2006

Write now! Right now!

In answer to Elizabeth Bear's challenge here is the first poem I ever wrote.

Cars are like stars,
They travel all about.
When they go too fast,
You'll hear people shout:
"Slow down, you bum,
You dirty scum.
You'll hit me if you don't!
And if you do, I'll tell on you,
And don't you think I won't!"
That was written in a seventh grade social studies class, and was the cause of receiving after school detention for the first time in my student career. Ah, the price we must pay to become "great" poets. Suffering for the art is one thing, but suffering because of it, is quite another. Consider this: If I had done the same thing in my English class I might have received extra credit that day! Timing, Folks; it's all a matter of timing.
That was in 1959. If the timing isn't right now for writing/poetry, perhaps I ought to have studied plumbing!

Saturday, February 25, 2006


"All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears--of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required."---- Dave Barry

I loved this and had to put it somewhere that I would keep tripping over it. This looks like as good a place as any! This is certainly food for thought. Someone hand me a bib and a nutcracker please.

I came upon this quote in the course of surfing after running a search on the word xenophobia. A friend used that word in an email off I went. After reading the definition I decided that I am a xenoloveitup. I doubt that word will be found if you run a search, unless it brings you right back to this page.

A xenophobic is someone who has a fear of anything or anyone strange or foreign. It can also be hatred of what or who is foreign; at least that's my understanding of the word. Loosely translated it's called fear of the unknown. Fear of diversity. Fear of self. That's right. Fear of self. When we are afraid of someone or something we don't know anything about, it's ourselves we are frightened of. We don't know how to respond, so we react.

Walking into the unknown brings an instinct of fear to any of us. We call that anxiety. Anxiety occurs because our egos speak up to say, "Hold it! I don't know this! This is new to me! I don't now how to deal with this!" Anxiety is an emotional and somewhat physical response. It passes if we allow it to. Egos, when they are undisciplined, can keep us bound to a very tiny life, centered in what we know and are comfortable with. Egos are not very bright. In fact, I would dare to say they are stupid at times, for my definition of stupidity is the unwillingess to learn.

My ego is my sense of I. To allow myself to learn something new, part of my existing I has to give up the ghost. Learning changes the way I think and the way I perceive myself and life around me. Taking my I too seriously only keeps me down. There's nowhere to fall from down. It's a safe place, well lit by my light of "reason" where I can justify just about anything.

Anxiety will cause me to hesitate at times, but faith tends to remind me that it's temporary, so I sit quietly and let it pass. Then I am better able to turn off my light of reason, grab my nutcracker and bib, and hop right over the edge of the cliff into the unknown.

Heat up some butter, Folks! I'm going in! And I'll be back with some goodies to share! (Does anyone know the mating call for a lobster?)

Friday, February 24, 2006

Behind Closed Doors

The Unplanned Life

While living my life one day at a time
Not knowing what each day will bring
There are moments of sorrow that runs very deep
But most often events make me sing

The blessings that come are too many to count
'Though life’s trials may test me with fire
I strengthen each day as experience comes
For to follow God’s will I aspire

As grace I pursue through times rough or sweet
I’m sure that my Lord laughs with glee
For it’s grace that has caused me to want what I do
And it’s grace that has pursued me!

That's what is written on the note on my door.

A minister once said to me, "You are an Intuitive (spelled with a capital I). What works for others won't work for you, and what works for you won't work for most others. "

Ain't that the truth! One of my favorite expressions as I relate stories from my life is, "Children, don't try this at home!"

The spiritual life is not for the weak of heart. I was drafted and now I'm a lifer. I live with my feet firmly planted in mid air. It's the only way to fly!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Just Say No!

lessons in what love isn’t
fall on deaf ears
dance before blind eyes
reach to grab air
love has it’s way with me

Monday, February 20, 2006

A Dash of Salt

I found a site online that was interesting and then found that the man who created it was born on the same day I was. The differences in us prove to me that free will has a great deal to do with one’s life. You can hand two people the same materials to work with and they will each make something different from them.

What I like about astrology is that it gives me some answers about my basic make up that causes me to say, “So that’s why!” I don’t like predicting futures or a lot of the other stuff. I simply like to have something to help me to look inward to see what I have to work with and where some of the glitches might be.

From time to time I explore things astrologically, but then I set that all aside again. I use it as others use salt. A little enhances flavor. A lot can make you very ill and lead to complications that could be deadly.

I think of life as a patchwork quilt or an Irish stew…a little bit of this, a little bit of that and something beautiful or delicious can come from it all.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Why Not?

When I want to try something new, or something that others might not think will work well, I ask myself "Why not?" If I can't give myself a good strong reason not to do something, I go forward to try doing it. The word impossible doesn't work well for me. "It hasn't seemed possible thus far," is as close as I can get to that. Admittedly, I have done a number of foolish things in the course of my life, and not everything I have tried has worked out the way I would have liked. Sometimes failure is my answer to "Why not?" I don't stand on the spot crying a lot. My attitude has been, "Well, that certainly doesn't work for me!"

My philosophy of life can be summarized in one sentence: "When the known isn't acceptable, try a hitherto unknown." If nothing else, that philosophy has given me a resume of life experience that says, "Been there. Done that!" about a lot of things. I've been an exceptionally bright, but decidedly "thick" person most of my life. You can tell me what to do and how to do it, and I enjoy listening, but until I have done it myself, I just don't "get it". I credit God with the fact that I didn't try to jump off the roof of my parents' home when I was a child in order to see if I could fly. I think that's simply because I didn't have any great desire to fly. Some people are born with common sense. The rest of us learn through sometimes painful experience. Pain passes. Learning is possible. I share The Blunders of Beth freely with anyone who has a real interest and might be able to learn through hearing. I hug the rest and help to dry a lot of tears. Those are the people that I laugh with the most. Surviving our own foolishness is cause for laughter.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

They Lied to Me!!

I spoke to a nurse today who kept staring at me after she asked my age (59 in a couple of weeks) and promptly went into shock when I stepped on the scales and weighed 30 pounds more than she had guessed. I keep trying to tell people that I am a spirit having a physical experience of life, rather than a physical being who occasionally has a spiritual experience, so I've decided that people tend to see my young and light soul, rather than the aging cookie-stuffed carcass that I walk around in. When I am complimented on my hair color I reply, "For four dollars a month, we can be twins." I do exaggerate. (Sometimes the shade I use goes on sale for 2/$5.) When asked if I am Irish I reply, "That, too, as well as German, English and Native American (Penobscot)." I dare anyone to get this hair to curl! I've been asked to leave hair salons by the back door and had one stylist cry real tears when he tried to give me a short haircut, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I explained to the poor man that it was only hair and it would grow back in. How was he to know that it wanted to grow straight up and out? A rose by any other name may indeed be a rose, but I looked more like a red dandelion. That was 20 years ago when it was thicker and punk was in, so I got away with it until it grew. I was the Cowlick Kid as a child. Age has been kind to me. My face fell into a nice position. I like crows' feet. (Crow Medicine means to answer to a higher authority, and my God laughs with me.)Last year I spent some time with a man who was younger than my daughter, and at a point when I was annoyed with him I said, "You want to know what I will look like in my old age? You are looking at it!" He was six foot four and I am five foot three. I said,"There isn't a man alive who has the right to talk down to me!" He got the message. Respect. It's an old fashioned word often misused. It means a healthy fear of loss. What we respect we treat well.

My father used to call me feisty. I thought it was a compliment that meant I was honest and out spoken. I don't think that's what he meant, but in his old age, he was glad that I was who I was. When I ride shot gun, the stage arrives on time.

My mother told me that no one changes after thirty. Others told me it's all down hill after fifty. Doctors told me that I would never conceive children. After my daughter was born they said all babies are miracles, but her birth was even more of a miracle than most because it was impossible for me to conceive. I enjoyed telling that story to my son who was born eight years later. Doctors told me in 1966 that I would be blind in ten years if I didn't have an operation, which I elected not to have. My eyesight has improved dramatically as I have aged. After surgery for cancer a young doctor hollered, "This is not possible!" I had six months healthy tissue in six weeks. For most of my life I've heard, "You can't say that! You can't do that!"

They lied to me. I can and I do. Life is an adventure.

That's a little of who I am. Come back again. I've been around for years. That's just a tiny tip of the iceberg!