Sunday, May 07, 2006

Gold Digger

I'm due to start a new job tomorrow in genealogy research. I've done ghost writing. Now I will be doing ghost hunting: tracking down people through public records. This all began as a favor for a friend of mine who is a research librarian. She began the search and hit a snag, so we pondered over what she had found together, and I saw something that stood out as if it was a neon sign. As I told her what I had deduced she said, "That's it! Now it all makes sense!" The patron who requested information from her has now employed me to continue the search.

I've been hard pressed often to try to explain to people how I happen to find the jobs that I work at. My explanation is that they find me. When I put one foot in front of the other I wind up in the right place at the right time. I don't go searching, although this job will force me to do that. What I need usually comes to me.

I don't suggest that other people try to live the way I do. I simply found that when I try to live the way others live, life goes backward. I don't know why I am the way I am. I just am. We all have different paths to walk in this life. It's only important that we find our path and walk along it. It's my goal to do as much good as I can do with my life. As some others seek to amass, I seek to give away. I struck gold within a while back, and the more I mine it, the deeper the vein seems to be.

Mining the gold isn't nearly as difficult as trying to give it away. I live in a world overly crowded with people who do not see their own worth. They place their value outside of themselves, on what they have accomplished, what they own and how much money they can accumulate in one lifetime. I have nothing against accomplishment, owning possessions, or having a financial reserve. Such things are pleasant experiences to have. They do not, though, decide my personal worth. My value as a person does not decrease when I am sick, experience material loss, or am broke. I may not feel as happy, but I feel just as valuable as when in better physical circumstances.

I am not one bit more valuable than any other human being, nor am I less valuable than any other human being. Those who treat me as if I have greater or lesser value than they possess do themselves a disservice. They have not yet touched their inner gold. Some will pass through life never knowing how valuable they were. Some will try to convince those of us who act upon our value that we are mistaken. Other will accuse us of being overly proud. But some get curious. They see, in the shine in our eyes and the smile on our faces, something that they experienced at some time in their past, and they come closer to ask questions.

That's when I get to give my gold away.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Little Things

As the gnats swarmed around my head
I swatted, first with one hand, then the other.
With both hands flailing, I thought,
"This can't be worth it!"
And retreated to a place of shade away from the little pests.
They were in numbers sufficient enough to wreck a picnic,
But not a life.