Sunday, October 18, 2009


I want to run to the nearest clock and stop the minutes from passing. Slow down! Slow down! That's my life you are ticking away! 

Then I laugh, assured if the time passes swiftly, I will simply be given extra years so I can still do all I want to do. I remind myself there is no hurry for anything. Everything is right on time.

Just a few weeks ago I was experiencing pain. The situation didn't change, but I did, so there is no pain any longer. There is peace and joy in it's place.  The same people who would tell me to stop hitting my hand with a hammer if I cried out that it hurt, expect me to stand still as they create pain for me. I apply the same logic as I would with the hammer. I cease doing as I was doing.  I allow that hammers are useful when applied rightly, and the people who are hurtful to me may do just fine relating to others. I set myself free and continuing on my pain free way. It works just fine each time I apply the lesson learned. 

Was I sad? Of course I was sad! People are humans, not hammers. I care and I grieve deeply. But grieving does not last forever, or in my case, for long. My conscience is clear, so I don't need to go through the "What if I had done this?" or "I shouldn't have done that." I just feel the sorrow that someone and I can no longer be close. 

Life is full of someones. Spending a great deal of time mourning the loss of relating to just one, makes no sense to me.  While life doesn't always make sense to me, I do like to make sense to myself. There are no vacuums. When something is removed, something else takes up the space it leaves behind. I don't rush to fill spaces. There are times I enjoy having more moments to myself, unfettered by the need to relate to another. 

I always liked the song WHEN YOU CAN'T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE, LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH. Spending time alone is a most rewarding experience.